Very true Blondie - "jws love to judge people!" it really came as a shock how people in the real world do not judge and scathe as the joho friends and associates did.
Free yet lonely
JoinedPosts by Free yet lonely
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71
I would like to hear your experiences with being SHUNNED
by jwfacts ini am going to put together a page of short experiences of how shunning has affected exjws.
you do not have to be disfellowshipped, even if you were shunned after being marked or after fading.
all comments are welcome, such as who shunned you, how long since family have spoken to you, what your situation is, why you are being shunned and how it has made you feel.
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71
I would like to hear your experiences with being SHUNNED
by jwfacts ini am going to put together a page of short experiences of how shunning has affected exjws.
you do not have to be disfellowshipped, even if you were shunned after being marked or after fading.
all comments are welcome, such as who shunned you, how long since family have spoken to you, what your situation is, why you are being shunned and how it has made you feel.
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Free yet lonely
Decided to start fading when I was 26 - I am now 30. Alot of things had happened that struck me as unethical - they did not sit well with my own conscience (aside from the so called bible trained conscience). The final nail in the coffin was a lecture at uni on brain washing which I just could not ignore! (yes I was at uni - I really had wanted to go when I was 18 but the elders and parents had loads to say about that, so I had waited till I was 23 and then decided that I still wanted to go and moved out at the same time to live with a JW mate, as you can imagine the elders and my parents still had a lot to say about that!!! They used to ambush me at home and try to force my mind away from moving out and education! I told them I wanted to be a teacher and the only way is to get a degree and they said you can be a teacher of the bible!!??? Ahhh no thanks!!). Anyway I digressed - so lashings of hypocrisy later I faded away - stopped meetings but did not admit to the elders I was in disagreement with it all as I had been advised by people on here if I do that they will be able to disfellowship me and at the time I really felt for my parents and did not want them to be anymore upset than they already were!
Anyway as for my shunning story, my family (mum, dad and 2 sisters) all shunned me - we did not speak for about 2 years. I decided that I would take the control out of their hands and shun them back - allthough that does not work if people do not know your shunning them!! All of my family apart from my little sister now visit us (me, my guy and baby) every 4 months or so and we share the odd text. When we meet we stay on neutral subjects and our relationship is civil not a close one. They are not there for me if I need them or visa versa as the contact is not enough to know if they need me or visa versa. However my little sister's shunning is absolute - she never replies to a text/call/email/letter!! she acts like I am dead. My sister's treatment pains me a great deal as the rest of my family have a measure of contact with me. The irony is that my little sister is the one that I was really close to in my family and so not being a part of her life kills me a litttle every day. My little sister used to talk to me initially - she even allowed me to pay for us to go on holiday when I first left - but as she got closer and closer to her strict joho boyfriend - now husband her shunning increased to absolute shunning as it is now!!
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When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
Ooh that is an excellent point as it would be awful if my parents were next of kin and refused me blood. The doctors have the babies dad as my next of kin but I will double check with the midwife
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When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
Yes in answer to your question I was unfortunately baptised!
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When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
They definately will not be supportive, even when I was a good jdub they were not supportive!! tried there hardest to talk me out of going to uni and also moving out. When I bought my first place they would not even come and see it!! Have had a hard year living on the bread line and they did not try to help when I told them we were struggling. Things are looking up money wise now tho x
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40
When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
Well I agree that I should wait allthough I do like the image of throwing up all over the disaproving family!!
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40
When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
Yes my boyfriends family are amazing and so happy - very lucky!!
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40
When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
No plans to get married immediately, I love the father with all my heart and do see myself marrying but we do not want to rush into getting wed because of the baby - which may not seem right but we would like to save up for a decent do!
Also can I just say how wonderful this board is and the old JWD was, I could cry at the support I have receieved when I was so low at leaving and quite low again now at the family divide!
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40
When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
Thanks for your posts, just to be clear I have zero intention of EVER going back especially now I have a baby to think of - that said my friend was in a similar situation and the dissed her which caused her no end of stress. However I have zero contact with witnesses so I like to think that they wouldn't bother and why the hell should being dissed bother me?? xxx
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40
When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?
by Free yet lonely inleft three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed.
have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it.
i have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
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Free yet lonely
Left three years ago - did the fade away and managed to avoid getting dissed. Have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and am 9 wks pregnant, we are both very happy about it. I have been having a really hard time with the hormones and the morning sickness - cannot eat anything except crackers as it comes back up immediately and the slight smell of anything unsavoury sets me off.
My mum, dad and 2 sisters are active witnesses. Have not spoken to my mother for a month or so, the last time we spoke I found out my sister was getting married in August and I had not been invited (to be expected naturally, but a phone call letting me know what is happening would have been nice as my sister and I had recently been talking). When I spoke to my mum she blamed me for 'ruening' my sisters wedding (due to leaving the clan) so I have not made the effor to phone her since and she has not made the effort either.
So I feel as though I should tell her but am absolutely terrified of doing so, as I do not need the stress of a lecture regarding an illegitamite child. I do not see my family having any active involvement in my babies life and do not want them to witness to the child, so I am unsure why I am even thinking I should tell them?????????
What are your thoughts????